Emo Side Project Split

by Jacob Garver

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Emo Side Project is a bomb: emosideproject.bandcamp.com
Jake Streiff is also a bomb: zombknotts.tumblr.com


released January 19, 2014

Recorded by Austin Williamson of Gold Bedroom Records. Artwork by Jake Streiff.



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Jacob Garver Kansas City, Missouri

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Track Name: .500 Record
I guess if you sleep with a couple guys
you might get a song written about you.
But you didn't follow her example
but I think you deserve one too.

You're everything I wanted;
a writer, and a pessimist.
You've got beautiful sentences strung through your hair.

I've got about a .500 record
for every success I've had I've had a failure
and I guess after this short series
it's safe to call this one a draw

You said I might be an angel
I think I might be the devil.
You said you were bummed out yesterday, and today I made it better.
You tell me that your skin always aches.

You've got a needle in your mouth
and I want to get it out

You got new eyewear
and I got boring

It's not true.
Not everyone contributes something to this world.
But I wanna contribute
something to your life
or something to your night

but you won't accept it.
Track Name: Smash The Patriarchy!
This summer
two pairs of cutoffs were the only ones I wore.
I learned a few Spanish words
a couple ukulele chords
and virtual personal finance taught me about depreciating assets
but I never let that risk stop me from taking opportunities I'm given
So though I don't know where you're headed
and though you might slam on the breaks
I like the song on the radio, so I will get comfortable.
Comfortable enough to tell you

that you are not an ocean
you are a puddle of tears that you forced yourself to shed
because it might get you a few more followers on tumblr
and you can't walk on water.
You can't handle it.

I know you think I'm broken
I know you know I'm passive-aggressive
I know your better than me
because you learned phrases like, "Smash the patriarchy!"
from a lot of hip girls on the internet.

But now I am staring at the stains on my shoes
that I got standing on the track at your high school
with someone who doesn't just talk about change
who has the honesty to tell me

that I am not a mountain
if anything, I am a valley
but I am shallow--I am empty.
But if you read me some more Shakespeare sonnets
and if you keep on dancing in my passenger's seat
we might forget that I am "lacking on the inside".
Track Name: Check My Blind Spot
I infer from the way you always check my blind spot
that you must've had a traumatic experience when you were younger.
I infer from the color in your eyes that you are happy.

Go on and click your teeth
it's what you do when you are nervous
but we're all pretty fucking nervous
get over it.

And I've got cuts and burns on all of my fingers
so I don't have the patience to deal with such things.

I've made mistakes
I jumped to conclusions
and that made me feel inclined to seclusion.
And she says this might be a reoccurring situation
but I don't think she can maintain that infatuation.

And you're totally right.
I've never been a part of anything that wasn't a "total joke."

And you're probably right.
I'll "probably never lose my virginity", but that's okay
I'd make an awful father anyways